Audio/gain level problem! help!

Okay so here's the deal. I pre make my mixes. And I use(d) traktors autogain. So I would take one track then go through all my tracks and find one that mixes well and then the next song and then the next. I mix trap and dubstep so it's faster mixing dropping songs on one another. So I realized that when I clicked around some of my mixes and some songs were louder or softer then others. Now when I listed to the mix from start to finish I never noticed anything, partly because I thought autogain was perfect and some songs were just mastered better than others and sounded more or less full. But eventually I changed all the gains of the songs so they were all the same level but the mix doesn't sound as good anymore. Some parts that were intense and hit hard now come in softer. Simply because those particular songs were the louder tracks so they "hit harder". Now I have my first show ever in 3 days and I wanted to play this mix, however I don't know if I should play them all at the same volume or using auto gain like I did before. I lowered the master so that NOTHING CLIPS, however I really don't know how my mix would sound in a club system. Would the differences in volume be more or less noticible? Would the louder songs still hit hard when I lowered their gain just because the system is so loud? I'm really not sure how to go about all this. However I can tell you if I listened to a mix in my car or my room I would definitely prefer the auto gain one. Please anything you have that can help me id really appreciate it!