[OT] new superstar DJ arriving soon!

thank y'all!

i keep you updated

 

Congrats from me too on RC1 .......... hope he/she will be bug free too!

 

Congratulations!

 

Best of luck with the new baby!
Beste van geluk met de nieuwe baby!
Gut vom Glück mit dem neuen Baby!
Il più bene di fortuna con il nuovo bambino!
最もよく新しい赤ん坊との運の!



And such. :lol:

 

Congratulations!

 

Congratulations to you both...

Congratulations..... all I can say is the 2nd one is MUCH easier - you've upgraded yourself almost to Family 1.1 now.. 1.2 is an easy upgrade

Anyway, here is something that made myself and my wife laugh both before and after having kids is, I thought you and others may appreciate a little light humour :-


"The String Bag and Octopus Guide to Parenthood"

Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading Sheila Kitzinger and decorating the nursery. Here are eleven simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father

Men: go to the chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter and invite the pharmacist to help himself, then go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home pick up the paper and read it for the last time.


Before you go ahead and have children find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behaviour. Enjoy it - it will be the last time you have all the answers.


To discover how the nights will feel walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing about 8 - l0 lbs. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm clock for midnight and go to sleep. Get up at 12pm and walk around with the bag again until 1am. Set the alarm for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2 45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Set the alarm for 5am. Get up at 5am and make the breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.


Can you stand the mess children make? To find out smear marmite on the sofa and jam on the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there throughout the Summer. Stick your fingers in the flower bed - then wipe them clean on the wall paper. Cover the stairs with crayons. How does that look?


Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems. First buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus in the bag, so that none of its arms stick out. Time allowed for this - all morning.


Take an egg carton, Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet roll tube. Using only Copydex and a piece of foil make a Christmas cracker. Last take a milk container, ping-pong ball and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops then make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations you have just qualified for a place on the Playgroup Committee.


Forget the sports car.. buy a people carrier. Don't think you can leave it on the driveway spotless and shining, family cars don't look like that. Take a choc-ice and put it in the glove compartment and leave it there. Get a coin, stick it in the cd player. Take a family sized pack of chocolate biscuits, mash them down the back seat. Take a garden rake - run it along both sides of the car. There - perfect.


Get ready to go out. Wait outside the loo for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come back in again, go out, come back in again, go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes. Stop to inspect every cigarette end, piece of chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect on the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you have had just about as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out to stare at you. Give up and go back home again. Do it all over again. You are now just about ready to take a small child for a walk.


Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is ideal. If you intend to have more than one child then take more than one goat. Buy your groceries without letting the goats out of' your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even consider having children.


Hollow out a melon, make a small hole in the side, suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now take a bowl of soggy Weetabix and try to spoon it into the swaying melon whilst pretending to be an aeroplane. Continue until half the Weetabix has gone, tip the rest in your lap making sure that a lot of it ends up on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.


Learn the names of every character from the Care Bears, Postman Pat, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles etc.... When you find yourself singing "I wanna be a Care Bear" at work, you finally qualify as a parent.

-=END=-


Always makes me laugh reading that, and for the parents amongst us.. how many of the above can you relate to ?

DJH

 

It pretty accurately describes life as a parent. So far, I was able to avoid scratches on the family car and the direct deposit to the grocer - but that's only because I spread the money around among 3-4 different ones. ;-)

 

naaaaah, of course our NK1 will be totally different...

but, actually, we have both younger brothers - i kinda raised my youngest brother - so all this will not hit us completely unprepared.


...

(remembers when my other brother and me were putting paint on the buckskin couch)

...


we talk again in mid-may...

 

Some More....
Once you have "chid-ins", you're on yer own. Except that everyone you meet (including those adults who are just married and have never played with, or raised kids) know _exactly_ how to solve all your baby problems except that none of the advice provided exactly fits or totally applies. Don't worry though that fear of flying totally blind and not knowing what the hell is going on and how handle things will go away... Usually by the time the child is age 9...years. However it comes back at around age 9 1/4 and will be at its worst at ages 6 months and ages 13-20 years. some days are better than others when dealing with babies, Just when you feel you are totally getting a handle on 'this whole baby thing' your baby's behavior will change completely into something new you've never encountered before thus throwing you completely off-balance.... again.... This state is now your normal state.. get used to it

Despite what you were first taught Peanut Butter and Jam sandwiches do work best when kept in your VCR or DVD.

DVD's and Prized 12" records are great when sliding on the floor and being dragged around the house by your neighbors gigantic Wet and muddy footed dog on wet days.

The cat in the hat is a How-to guide for those wet days.

Its all funny as hell until someone gets electrocuted.

Good science does come from seeing if your Mum or dads 1210's can spin the cat or the baby off onto the floor.

As Bill Cosby rightly pointed, out the bomb explosion mess in the bedroom is in fact orderly, your child knows that everything was right where they put it.

Its OK to feed sugar loaded espresso to your 8 month old brother or sister... Mum and dad drink it and it doesn't hurt them.

Music is best when you listen to various 3-8 second segments of each song on an album in quick succession 53 times in one 7 minute period.

Face it they are 11 years old now dammit and should be allowed to get their _other_ nipple, tongue _and_ bellybutton pierced for their birthday! It is not OK to get genitls pieerced till A/ they know what gentials really are, and B/ they turn 14.

CellPhones are birthrights now... get used to it.

Hannibal rising is a how-to guide, The Lindsay, Paris and Britney chronicles on Entertinment tonight is a list of things to do next week.

Its a law that 5 & 6 year olds should be allowed to accompany Dads who are spinning at Halloween porn parties....

The international union of "chid-en" requires all it members to fight, shriek, cry, tell tales and pummel each other no less than hourly while awake. The international union of parents requires "chid-en to sleep 24 hours per day if possible.... The "chid-in" will attempt to oblige with the sleep thing starting around age 15.

Despite what we adults think, timeouts are not to be used to compose or settle down the child. They are to be used by the child to perform the detailed planning needed for the next insurgent attack on your sibling... That attack should ideally occur no less that 45 seconds after being released from the utter hell that is sitting in the corner alone for 2-10 mins.

Bugs and Spiders are ONLY cool if you are scaring the crap out of your sister with them. If your parents do it to you, its cruel, inhuman and illegal.... but funnee! as hell... to your parents...

Just because Mum and dad are kissing doing the fishy face thing does not mean you can make your 8 month old baby brother kiss the goldfish....

Phil

 

regarding the science...

i remember my dad who took a potato, put it on the desk, hit on it with his fist and said "mashed potatoes".

my brother and me followed willingly his example, bringing our mother nearby a nervous breakdown

on another occasion, he put sugar and condensed milk together (on the desk, of course, why use a cup for scientific experiments) to show what a saturated solution is...

so, sometimes the question is: who's the kid?

 

I'm sooooo looking forward to my procreative duties now.

 

The Queen of NI is having a baby! yaay!

 

very cool, congrats.

 

Wow, congratulations!

 

Congrats Native-mom!

 

congratulation native-girl!

Auguroni dall'Italia.

 

das goot!

CONGRATS!

 

felicitaciones...por tu bebe ng

 

*sigh*

we were at my doctor today and hoped to see if it's gonna be a girl or a boy... but no!

it was moving around all the time but never let us see what's between the legs. it finally found a position with crossed legs, so that it was absolutely impossible to see anything!

seems like it combines already the best characteristics of his parents:
stubborness, refractoriness, obstinacy.

that gives much hope for a relaxed future!

 

Keep it a surprise until its born!