"Things NOT to say to a DJ when he's working" Some people think of us a jukeboxes, here is an introduction for the typical Clubber, Bar drunk, or any girl who thinks she's hot and everyone will stop what there doing to give them attention. All the hard working DJ's present this just for you...................... 1. I want to hear "-------" Hold on! U are not the only person in this club or party! Everybody in here wants to hear something different.... furthermore you are not the person who is writing my check for the night. have u stopped to think that... (a.) a hundred other people have requested or are gonna be requesting songs thru the night and the dj cant cater to just you. (b.) the dj you're talking to is a proffesional and has done thousands of parties and knows how to control a crowd without your input. (c.) the song you want to hear doesnt mix with the song that the dj is currently playing when u ask for it. (dj is playing something like "50 cent- i get money" and then u come and ask for a waaay slower or faster song that is a totally different speed which will mess up everybody's dance who is on the floor and then everybody gets angry and looks at the dj like he ****ed up when it was actually your request that killed everybody's flow.) 2. "I'll pay you to play it" Contradictary to what u think.... a respected and professional dj doesnt get paid peanuts. The more valued djs who get booked on damn near every event u hear of make your paycheck that u worked all week to get in one night. Unless you are offering some Bill Gates or Donald Trump money... GET DA **** OUT OF MY FACE! 3. "I dont know who sings it and I dont know the name of the song but it goes like this... Please don't sing for the dj! The dj has to put up with enough **** all night... between a hundred people just like you who think that you are the only person out of the whole hundred that he has to cater to.... and a bunch of drunk ass people with stankin ass breath all up in his face. Do the dj a favor and "DONT" give them a rendition of your favorite song! 4. "Play this song and watch what happens" Why are u not the dj if u know exactly what to do? Why did the promoter hire me & not you then? 5. "Yo... I can get some ass if u play that song" Son.... U must have a weak game if u need a song to get you some ass. i have gotten some ass to straight up silence b4. I got some ass to "redman- time 4 sum aksion" b4..... U can get ass to any song.... get your game up. 6. "Yo... this is a song that I made.... play number such and such and watch everybody gonna go crazy" First of all.... we dont discriminate on anybody who doesnt have a deal... but, even when u play a "brand new" record by artists like Jay-z, 50 cent, Beyonce... you name the artist.... If everybody in the party hasnt heard that record b4 and it doesnt have a certain energy to it to keep that party goin.... everybody will clear the floor and be talkin about "kill the dj".... your record kills the whole floor and now the dj looks bad and on top of that... because your record did so bad now u wanna blame the dj "naah man... the dj aint play it right" no... it was your record that stunk up the place... the dj did not make any changes to your song... it was played the same way u handed it to him on the cd. 7. "I dont know what I wanna hear.... do u have...?" It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the dj to tell you the name of every song he has on him! 8. "Why are u playing this wack ****? Nobody will dance to this!" It is advisable not to say this when the dance floor is packed (but, some people do anyway)! However, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it still contradicts the statement u just made. 9. "See... everybody is not dancing... they just ran off the floor!" Sometimes the dj has to purposely play **** that will clear the floor or calm the crowd down. It's called crowd control... the dj may be saving somebody's ass from gettin beat..... maybe yours! 10. "I want to hear...." and then the dj says... "I just played that like 2 minutes ago" and then u say... "well can u play it again... I wasnt here when u played it" Unless the dj really knows u like that.... he'll start searching around for a piece of "GIVE A ****" Nobody gives a **** if u werent here already when the dj played the song... U should have got your ass there earlier. Now if the dj plays the song again right away when you said to play it again... he gets all kinds of wierd looks from everybody else just because "they just heard that song 2 minutes ago b4 u walked in" and you're the only idiot who wants to hear this song right now. We love to see our audience happy... but sometimes people just go waay overboard. If the dj has one hand on the mixer and one hand on a turntable 7 is wearing headphones, chances are the dj is in the middle of a mix and u trying to talk to him in the middle of it may **** the music up. The dj has to listen to the music that you hear surrounding you, plus another totally different song that he has to match up with the one you're hearing which is playing in the headphones.... and now u wanna add your voice. Thats like for instance... you're in your bed ****in and you and your sex partner are really into it... but some fool keeps knockin on your bedroom door.... u mad as hell! When u walk up to the dj.... even if u know me.... unless you are a dj thats supposed to be on the bill with me that night.... Dont put your ****in hands on my turntables! then u do some dumb shyt like stop the song thats playing or try to scratch it in the middle of everybody dancing to the record... and then everybody in the party turns to look at the dj like he ****ed up. If the dj turns and Ike Turner's your ass for that u deserved it.